Posts Tagged ‘weddings’

To live without love

February 9, 2017

Who will drop loving kisses
On the cheeks of motherless children?
Who will hug them, tease them, scold them,
Tickle them, cuddle them, laugh with them?
Children need food and sleep…
And so much more, to thrive.
I sing two little children to sleep.
Tears fall from my eyes as I think
Of every child without parents in this world.
The refugees, the orphans, the lost children….
Surely the greatest cruelty in our world
Is to let children live…. without love.

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Chennai, 041216

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Wedding bells for Alex and Claire…Circus Flora, St Louis, 120614

June 13, 2014

​Wow…Ruth…thank you for sending me this link.​

(On Wed, Jun 11, 2014 at 10:13 PM, Ruth Hartsell wrote:)
watch the video…..this is the guy that you met on the plane previously…..guess they are going to get married…..nice story……

http://www.ksdk.com/story/life/2014/06/10/circus-flora-wedding-bells-claire-kuciejczyk-kernan/10291007/

​Lynx, Duck, Tonty…I’d first met Alex Wallenda on a flight out of St.Louis:

here

And last year, when I voluteered at Circus Flora with Ruth (who has introduced me to so many volunteering opportunities in St.Louis!), I met Claire and Alex:

here

almost exactly 2 years ago! (15th of June!)

Alex, Claire…it’s lovely to see you getting together in the holy bonds of matrimony….I will be in St.Louis from August; I do not know if you two will be in St.Louis there, or practising elsewhere…but wherever you are, our good wishes go with you, for many more happy years of togetherness!

My family, including my grandchildren, came and watched the circus a few days ago…so I thought they, too, would be interested in the wedding bells ringing out!

Lots of love, Deepa.

The Morris Minor, Woodlands Hotel, and a wedding, 190314

March 20, 2014

As we entered the Woodlands Hotel just off Richmond Circle, to attend a wedding, our attention was riveted by this little gem, parked in the campus:

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The

MORRIS MINOR

is a beautiful little car!

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As if to keep perfect company with the car, these old buildings of the Woodlands Hotel looked so lovely:

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We attended the wedding, too…the youngest daughter of one of the old families of Bangalore and Nanjangud:

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All in all, it was a day when history and heritage seemed to thrive in modernity!

Pune..intriguing sights

December 2, 2012

Pune has been a great place to wander around….I attended a reception; some circles become ellipses depending on the angle of the camera….

rangoli sharma rcptn 011212

Some circles have become ellipses, literally, out of this world:

moon 011212

“Beyond look”, says the ad, and in Pune, almost all young women wear their scarves covering their face, almost as if it was (it isn’t) a religious thing….especially those who drive two-wheelers, finding it a slight protection from the sun, the dust, the smoke….

bynd lk pune 021212

A ship of the desert arrives in the city….is it used as a beast of burden? Or does it earn because of its novelty value?

camel pune 021212

I went out before I asked why this man had been served a few chillies in a glass of water (he never touched it as long as I had my chai there)…

Pune has been a great place to wander around….I attended a reception; some circles become ellipses depending on the angle of the camera….

rangoli sharma rcptn 011212

Some circles have become ellipses, literally, out of this world:

moon 011212

“Beyond look”, says the ad, and in Pune, almost all young women wear their scarves covering their face, almost as if it was (it isn’t) a religious thing….especially those who drive two-wheelers, finding it a slight protection from the sun, the dust, the smoke….

bynd lk pune 021212

b

A ship of the desert arrives in the city….is it used as a beast of burden? Or does it earn because of its novelty value?

camel pune 021212

And…..a girl child, who ought to be going to school…..

st acrobat  scene 021212

Is her diet balanced? Is her budget balanced? Is she better off than the poor schoolchildren who are made to swot irrelevant stuff at school, and are hustled to all manner of classes afterwards?

st acrobat close 021212

Most children, affluent or not, do not have a choice in our country…

These were some of the thought-provoking sights I got, and these were the thoughts they provoked….

my friend Sharbari Lahiri from Hamilton, Ontario, had a lovely explanation;

And…..a girl child, who ought to be going to school…..

st acrobat  scene 021212

Is her diet balanced? Is her budget balanced? Is she better off than the poor schoolchildren who are made to swot irrelevant stuff at school, and are hustled to all manner of classes afterwards?

st acrobat close 021212

Most children, affluent or not, do not have a choice in our country…

These were some of the thought-provoking sights I got, and these were the thoughts they provoked….

Shashti Abdha Poorthi Procession….211211

March 7, 2012

When a man in our community (Tambrams, or Tamizh Brahmins) attains the age of 60, he and his wife undergo a wedding ceremony again, this time with greater emphasis on the Vedic rituals, and the spirituality.

Our friends Devika and Anand had the “whole 9 yards” ceremony, with pomp and colour, at

Thirukkadaiyur

Where 60th, 70th, and 80th “abdha poorthi” rites (attainment in years) are often performed, often dozens at a time.

For the photographs from their ceremony

click here

for the Picasa web album

Here’s a video of the couple being brought in procession to the spot where the abhishEkam will be performed:

Arranged marriage…a video, and my thoughts

August 23, 2011

They talk about 90% of marriages in India and show only the urban, educated people who are equal to each other, which is a miniscule minority in our country. In most marriages, the woman has hardly any say in the process. And the fact that only 5% end in divorce…is often NOT because the marriage is successful….it’s because other options are not feasible.

If all marriages could take place after such honest dialogue (and notice, the guy professes his strong predeliction within a short time and bowls her over)….probably marriages would be 100% successful.

Within the very narrow framework of the English-speaking, “both-are-equally-educated-articulate-and-honest” urban youth…it’s a well-made video….but extrapolating to the entire Indian scenario is not a valid step at all. The guy that brings them the tea/coffee…how does HIS wedding process go? In all probability, he goes to his village, where his parents have selected a girl for him, depending upon what she can earn, and what dowry she’ll bring (oh yes.)…and he’s the one who can agree or refuse, not her.

My maid got married when I was away in the US. She is all of 23, and her family has been very worried because three or four prospective grooms said “no” to her because she is “dark” and “fat”. She came back home to spend the inauspicious month (AshAdhA, or Adi) at her mother’s place.

Her husband was with her, and would not even allow her to come and visit the people for whom she worked (she was like family to me.) I just spoke to her on the phone, and I might not see her even when she comes for Deepavali, because, once again, she will be accompanied by her husband, who will dictate what she can and cannot do.

From being a free bird, who was earning well, had a happy circle of friends, she’s become a young woman who is not going to be allowed to work, must spend the days doing housework and gossiping, with the wings of her independence clipped. And why? Because the astrologer decreed that if she doesn’t get married now, she will never be married, and she will be an obstacle to the marriage of her sisters, and a waiting-in-the-wings cousin.

“They don’t beat her,and he doesn’t drink”, her sister tells me, trying to find some good in this alliance. Then she gets to wondering, “How is she going to live this kind of tied-down life?”

I have nothing against arranged marriages…when they are entered into with free choice on both sides. Alas, that does not happen often, in our country.

Actually, it was an Indian Royal Wedding today…

April 29, 2011

I was tickled pink to get this after watching the Will Kate (Yes, will she? was the question!)…wedding…

I just love the wildlife reference at the end!

Weddings everywhere…

December 30, 2006

Weddings everywhere are pretty similar, is the observation I have to make after watching a Baptist wedding. I thought an “American” wedding was a half-hour thing…but no, the ceremony today started 20 minutes late, went on for about 2 hours, and was preceded and succeeded by “rehearsal dinner”, “Pre-wedding brunch”, post-wedding reception, and there will be a “day after” brunch at the bride’s place…can you see any difference? Everyone was milling around, making tremendous amounts of noise as they circulated and conversed; only at the ceremony was everyone seated and perfectly quiet (that is one part I would like to integrate into our chaotic weddings!). The rituals were chosen to be meaningful…there were poetry and prose readings, and I was especially moved by an Apache wedding message that is given to the newlyweds of the tribe. The preacher spoke very movingly, and quoted the lovely poem of Yeats which ends, “Tread softly, for you tread upon my dreams.” For the few minutes when the vows were said, I became the bride’s mother once again, and it was my daughter getting married…the beauty of the long-known words still made my eyes moist.

The bridegroom, in the seven years that I have known him, has grown from a callow youth to a confident and mature young man. And when he brought his then-girlfriend to my daughter’s wedding in 2005, I was struck by the quality of sweetness that I instantly felt in her. So it felt good to see them getting together!

Of course some things were different…it was funny to have a sit-down dinner where we had to get up, go downstairs, get the food and then come back to the table (each table seated about 10 people and we had to go table by table)…and during the reception, suddenly the Yacht Club people decided to lower the heating; I thought it was me, and went downstairs to the cloakroom to get my coat and found several others there, saying it was too cold for them, too! Luckily someone spoke to someone else and the heating was turned up again…even that, though, reminded me of the many snafus that happen in our weddings!

I think that a wedding, anywhere in the world, is a covenant between two people (I firmly believe that marriages need not be only between opposite sexes)..and is a beautiful thing to behold as it starts, with hope and happiness.