Posts Tagged ‘love’

My daughter, 300819

August 30, 2019

She was a helpless, mewling little scrap when I first saw her. She’s now grown into an independent adult. We laugh (and hopelessly giggle) at a lot of things together. There are many things on which we don’t see eye to eye, too. Once in a while the disagreement gets heated. Sometimes she thinks I am criticizing her, and sometimes I feel she is too critical of what I think or do….neither of us is a conventional person.

But through all of it runs the bedrock of deep affection and mutual respect. She’s stood by me through the worst moments of my life, not been judgemental, accepted me as a person in all my facets..good,bad and ugly. She’s wise beyond her years, and a very good mother (in fact, I sadly think she’s a much better mother than I ever was.) She did a lot of her growing up far away from me…but the UC (Umbilical Cord) is strong.

It’s just an ordinary day, but I join many other mothers who love their daughters deeply and unconditionally. If I’d gone to a supermarket to select a daughter, I could not have done better than the model I’ve got.

And if she makes another crack about Nityananda after she reads this I will kidnap her children.

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P N Akhila, 301054-231118

November 27, 2018

When I married and moved to R K Nagar (Rama Krishna Nagar), Chennai, I underwent a lot of difficulties…the usual ones with an arranged marriage. I made friends with Akhila, who lived opposite…and truly, her affection (and generally sweet nature) carried me through those difficult years. She was exactly 7 days younger than I am.

Later, she took up a job, married, moved to Hyderabad…our contact was more sporadic, but there was never any change in our love for each other. She managed her job and her home, brought up two very sweet daughters, and dealt with many blows with her usual gentle courage. I managed to visit her in Hyderabad, and we met when the family was in Bangalore, too.

On an impulse, I’d emailed her to “update” and just before her 64th birthday (30th Oct), she called, explained about a serious illness, and sounded as cheerful about that as she’s always done about everything else. I sent her birthday wishes as usual, and was totally shattered to get a reply a couple of days ago from her elder daughter, saying that she’d passed away on Nov.23.

I have always called her “doe-eyed”. We were two women in two different, busy worlds, and yet we found chances to meet and keep our loving friendship up…I wipe the tears that roll down my cheeks, and carry on with my daily chores. This is life…the mundane soothes, masks, and trumps over the emotions.

My dear, dear Maankannu…my life is much poorer without your sweetness. 64…no age to go…but we have to answer the call, when it comes. I will regain my smile in a while…but right now…I miss my friend, who was almost a sister.

Little holes in the heart

October 26, 2014

Medical science tells us
That we can, indeed, live
With little holes in the heart
I know this to be true.

Oh, little one,
You just set up a wail
In your sleep;
Then, like a caterpillar,
You climbed into my lap.
And, your tiny body bent into
My legs and knees,
You sleep on.
Your little chest
Moves up and down with the breath
That holds your precious life within
This small body.

Soon, I will leave you
And return home.
You will be a voice heard on the phone;
A few pixels on my laptop screen;
You will no longer be the smell
Of the moisturizer that you spilt
So lavishly this morning
No longer the tender fingers
That so often rub against me
As, in falling asleep,
You move them back and forth
Over my arms.

My love for you will overflow
From these little holes in my heart
That your physical absence, little caterpillar,
Will create, in little shafts
Of missing you unbearably.

And yes, I will live with those holes
In my loving heart:
I will take comfort
That you are growing
Halway across the world,
In a happy home.

You and your elder sister,
Precious to me beyond imagining
Will, once again, be tears
Stinging behind my eyelids
As I struggle to be rational about you
Even as I wish I could be with you forever.

Pleasanter stuff: back with my family…..

August 8, 2014

KTB starts school on Monday, 11th August, 2014; she will attend Wilkinsons School, where she will also participate in a program for gifted children (but will be most of the time with ALL children.)

Here is the family, at the pre-school “picnic” which turned into an indoor meet because of a heavy thunderstorm:

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Here she is, with her class teacher, Miss Paige Blansett:

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With the Principal, Dr Wuchs:

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and last but not least, Our Imp of the (as yet) Illiterate:

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The painters are overrunning their schedule by over a week; the house is topsy-turvy (I can’t even unpack!), A is having an emergency at work and was out at work all night..but family cuddles go on:

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My darlings, it’s worth all the trouble and expense I go through, to see them!

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And, in St.Louis…..200714

July 20, 2014

I had a lovely video chat with my daughter, and the added bonus (bonii!) were:

the boods 2 200714

It got even more delightful….

theboods200714 one

One Booda fully festooned with oatmeal…reminds me of the abhishEkam we do for our stone idols!

My heart is already in St.Louis!

It’s a pity the picture quality is so poor…

Wedding bells for Alex and Claire…Circus Flora, St Louis, 120614

June 13, 2014

​Wow…Ruth…thank you for sending me this link.​

(On Wed, Jun 11, 2014 at 10:13 PM, Ruth Hartsell wrote:)
watch the video…..this is the guy that you met on the plane previously…..guess they are going to get married…..nice story……

http://www.ksdk.com/story/life/2014/06/10/circus-flora-wedding-bells-claire-kuciejczyk-kernan/10291007/

​Lynx, Duck, Tonty…I’d first met Alex Wallenda on a flight out of St.Louis:

here

And last year, when I voluteered at Circus Flora with Ruth (who has introduced me to so many volunteering opportunities in St.Louis!), I met Claire and Alex:

here

almost exactly 2 years ago! (15th of June!)

Alex, Claire…it’s lovely to see you getting together in the holy bonds of matrimony….I will be in St.Louis from August; I do not know if you two will be in St.Louis there, or practising elsewhere…but wherever you are, our good wishes go with you, for many more happy years of togetherness!

My family, including my grandchildren, came and watched the circus a few days ago…so I thought they, too, would be interested in the wedding bells ringing out!

Lots of love, Deepa.

Love in the time of technology

June 2, 2014

There was a time when palm leaves
And birds, too, were used
To communicate between lovers
And ensure that their souls fused.

The post and telegraph service
Improved this somewhat:
One could be in touch with the Other,
Heart could call to heart.

But now it is the techno-age,
The age of “keep-in-touch”:
To keep separated and sundered hearts
From missing each other too much.

She can quietly text him;
Await his return SMS;
In the silence of words that fly
Their loneliness grows less.

Can she call him? Can he call her?
Can they exchange some words?
Can she hear him? Can he hear her?
Or–just static, screeching birds?

It’s said,by ancients, that love
Is conveyed through the eyes:
But if they’re talking into a phone
Depending on sight would not be wise.

Video calls, then, are the answer!
Of each other they can have their fill.
The thorny of the part of the rose will come
Along with the internet bill!

My superchild….

May 25, 2014

Her FB update:

The Gods must have read my FB post about no pats on the back. Today there were two important ones. My boss introduced me & my role to the Board of Commissioners this morning. His was both gracious and grand in introducing my role and skills. After the meeting, the CEO asked what my previous role at Metro had been, and the COO explained on my behalf, and was also very complimentary – saying that I did an excellent and methodical job in managing 1/4 of the entire opening of the cross county rail line (a 9mile extension & ~$0.7 Billion job) in managing all the internal Metro preparation. Indeed, he elevated my past work to the level of the VP who was “managing the other 3/4”.

How on earth did I give birth to this superwoman, I wonder!

Here’s a pic of us from 1993:

1993-Anjana-and-Deepa-studying-Hindi

My daughter…my life…

The moon and the star

May 2, 2014

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If you were the moon and I was a star,
We would have a home in the sky
People would see you from afar
I’d have the right to look on you from close by!

Tumkur visit, 010514

tErE mEre sapnE ab Ek rang hain

April 30, 2014

One of my favourite melodious songs, from the movie

Guide

made based on

novel by R K Narayanan

This song seems a happy one…. but there’s an underlying current of sadness in it…as “Rosie” is already moving on from the relationship that “Raju” has fought the world and given up a lot for. No matter that R K Narayanan hated this picturization of his novel. It is a haunting movie, with wonderful songs, showing the fleeting nature of love…especially in “forbidden” relationships.