Posts Tagged ‘humour’

An anecdote from the past, with a twist in the tail!

January 30, 2020

I wish we could visit a lot more of our seniors (yes, senior even to me!) and hear their stories and anecdotes. Today I visited a couple, and here’s the anecdote:

The gentleman had a big group of Japanese visitors in his factory; in preparation for the visit, he’d asked several of his colleauges and their spouses to take a course in Japanese. His wife had a ear for languages, and completed the next course too.

During the visit, she heard the visitors talking amongst themselves about the chaotic traffic in the city (remember, this must have been thirty years ago!) and expressing worry.

During the official welcome speech which she delivered in Japanese, she also added, “I know some of you were worried about the traffic and your safety…please don’t worry. The driver of the van is our second-best company chauffeur.”

“Oh!” exclaimed a visitor, relieved. Then added, “Where is your best driver?”

“Still in the hospital,” was the reply!

I am very fond of this couple. They have a great sense of humour and a big fund of stories!

The “teacher’s” note, K2, 080120

January 8, 2020

K2’s “teacher” allegedly sent this note from school.

K2 "Send Chips" note,080120

When faced with it, he unrepentantly grinned and said, “Yes, I wrote it!”

Wonder what he will think of next!

Bird id…

December 24, 2019

He said, “I regret
To say, I can only identify
This bird called the Egret,
The other thing that’s long and white
That I can sight,”
He said with a sigh,
“Is…a cigarette!”

K2: His age

December 3, 2019

K2: Has it been 20 years since I was born?
Mother: No. How old are you?
K2: 7.
Mother: Then…. How many years since you were born?
K2:… One hundred?

Knee trouble..

November 21, 2019

There was a time, my life was a song
The patella, femur and tibia, they all got along
I ran, I jogged, I danced with such poise
But soon they began to make some noise
Crack, pop, grate, what’s all this fuss
The doc saw my knee, said crepitus
They rubbed each other the wrong way
Good ol’ cartilage couldn’t keep them at bay
Femur told the patella you are always in my face
Why don’t you realize I need some space?
The quadriceps tried to mediate but soon got worn
The ligaments would have tried but they were already torn
The big burly synovium now laughed in glee
My knee swelled up in this unusual melee
I tried many things but all in vain
Oh say hello to chronic pain
Some Chinese healer stuck needles into me
My neighbor told me try physiotherapy
I even got a bee-sting, if you get the gist
Then someone suggested “rheumatologist”
Did he do better it’s really hard to say
Let’s leave doctor-bashing for another day
Maybe it’s time to slow down in life
How I dread the thought of going under the knife
Symptomatic treatment isn’t it just a lure
C’mon science buck up, where is the cure?
————–
*The knee Pop*

Dr. Benzeeta Pinto,
Asst. Prof. Clin immunology and Rheumatology,
St. John’s Med College, Bengaluru

K2 and PDA (Public Display of Affection)

October 12, 2019

I’ve been noticing an increasing (and quite understandable) resistance on K2’s part, to give me an “Uggandakiss”.

Today, when I asked, he said, “I can’t kiss you, my nose is too big.”

They Must Not Be Named!

September 12, 2019

Everyone tells us that they are harmless, we should not bother about them, and so on and on and on,until we are scared even to take their name…

I have travelled in the mountains
And waded in the beaches
But these creatures I can’t abide,
They are the…..

I take flights to far-flung places
Walk to remote river reaches.
But in rain and slush I look down.
I’m worried about those…..

“Travel light! Take much less!”
Every guide book teaches.
But I take with me socks, salt and spray,
To use on those pesky……

I may subsist on only bread
Or fruit…bananas and peaches
But I don’t want to donate my blood
To those thirsty, sucking……

They get into our tee-shirts,
They get into our breeches
We even found some on our necks,
Those horrid little……!

I’ll have to wash out all my socks
With detergent and bleaches
To get rid of the awful bloodstains
Left by those dirty…….!

IMG_0686

The Himalayan foothills of Bangalore

August 9, 2019

Bangalore is supposed to be sited in the Dakshin (anglicized to Deccan) plateau. But increasingly, I find myself in the foothills of the Himalaya, when I look at the traffic going past me.

It begins, as it always does, with gentle slopes. Vehicles gently climb over them. There are, even here, little chasms to be wary of…a broken spring, or a scraped tyre, might result. But we soon leave the gentle foothills and approach the greater elevations; traffic needs to slow down, and then push, with throbbing motors, up and down.

Next come the Big Challenges. Here, a gauntlet is thrown down to the passing motor vehicles, not only in the height, but in the series of hills that the cars or buses have to navigate. Thud-grind, thud-grind, thud-grind, they all go.

Since Venkateshwara’s abode is in the Seven Hills, and Shiva lives in the Himalaya, every house owner in my city deems it a matter of pride to have two hills flanking his or her residence. As the traffic slows to a crawl and stumbles over the hills, the home owners’ ego is satisfied…they, too, are god-like!

I just walked back from my daughter’s home to mine, and I counted 19 small hillocks and 8 fairly large hills, with three or four deep abysses that an unlucky motorist could fall into and never be heard from again….our hilly, and at times mountainous, road topography is known by the rather tame name of “speed bumps” or “rumble strips”…little does the unimaginative BBMP (Brihat Bengaluru Mahanagara Palike) know that they are helping us create a City of the Hills on a plateau!

I am looking forward to a time when it will become a matter of routine for roads to be laid in a series of ridges, with the mandatory small and big potholes nestling in the troughs. We can look forward to cars having treadmill belts instead of tyres. We can calculate our riding comfort in BPM…Bumps Per Minute. Every road will clamour for supremacy in these numbers, with the highest-achieving ones resembling corrugated cardboard, rather than a passageway for vehicles. We can count the number of pillion riders (and drivers) flung off two-wheelers. Perhaps, to top the whole thing off, we can introduce square or triangular tyres.

And since there will be ridges and bumps everywhere, there will be no need to even think of putting up signs about these!

The Gedious, 040819

August 7, 2019

K2: As soon as my maths teacher writes out a sum on the board, I call out the answer. so she called me a gedious.
Me: G D S?
K2: No! GEDIOUS! That means I am VERY intelligent!

IMG_5772

Here he is, the Bubble-wrap Monster.

….This very modest guy may be a gedious in Maths, but his English….!

Animal rescue..and afterwards

July 30, 2019

As I stepped into the shower, I noticed a tiny little bug crawling along the ledge where I keep my soap and shampoo. As the water started splashing around, I suddenly realized that a waterdrop had quite inundated the tiny creature. Full of compassion, I used my fingernail to delicately lift up the bug to the vertical wall, where the water would drip off it.

I wondered if I had damaged it, and waited anxiously for a while, looking at the motionless little thing. After a while, it slowly began to crawl up the wall. Brimming with happiness at this animal rescue, I stepped out of the shower stall. Wrapping my towel around me, I walked out of the bathoom, quickly swatting a pesky mosquito.