Posts Tagged ‘humour’

The Bagworm Moth

June 24, 2020

IMG_7937

The Bagworm Moth is great housekeeper.
It combines the roles of larva and sweeper.
It makes its surroundings free
Of all kinds of debris
It is definitely (than a housemaid) much cheaper!

Pupal stage:

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Sometimes looks like this too:

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(inspired by a post on my butterfly group!)

Anatomy of Two-wheeler riders in Bangalore during Covid times

June 14, 2020

The body of the Average Two-wheeler Driver (ATD), in Bangalore at least, is a wondrous thing, consisting of:

1. Nose, uncovered and free to breathe anything in the air, from the exhaust fumes to any germs/virus going around.
2. Mouth, sometimes uncovered, the better to hurl insults at other road users, and to talk on the mobile phone (see below)
3. Chin, for the mask to be tucked under, (see below)
4. Head, uncovered as there is nothing inside to be protected by a helmet.
5. Elbow, most important.There are two of these, one to hang the helmet from, and the other for the mask (if not tucked under the chin).
6. Shoulder, to tuck the mobile into for talking convenience when riding in the traffic, with the head at a strange angle.

There are other parts of the body, too, but they are not as important as the above-mentioned ones.

More doggerel…

April 26, 2020

April 26, 2018 at 5:53 PM ยท

Butterfly on the Moon. (Nonsense verse inspired by a conversation on the Bangalore Butterfly Club, where Kesava asked how much a butterfly would weigh on the moon!

Thought the butterfly as she flitted over the moon,
“I can’t stay here, I’ll have to leave soon.
“It is a matter that’s sad to state
“But on this place, alas, I have hardly any weight.
“How can I lay eggs or perpetuate my race
“If I can’t even land but float off in space?
“Alas!” she added, ” I may be over the moon
“But it’s the worth of the Earth that is my greatest boon.”

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Jezebel, Baevu trip, 091016

K2, from last year…

April 26, 2020

26 April 2018:

I delete a video (K2 explaining his robot jet aircraft) on the laptop after uploading it to YouTube. K2: You have just killed me by deleting that video. You really are an evil grandmother.

Of names, knowledge..and showing off

April 26, 2020

What the scientific, erudite types have to realize: When an Ordinary Person sees a beautiful grasshopper, s/he is quite interested.

But if told that it is a Cyrtacanthacris tatarica tatarica, and that the classification is Animalia > Arthropoda > Insecta > Orthoptera > Acridoidea > Acrididae > Cyrtacanthacridinae > Cyrtacanthacris > Cyrtacanthacris tatarica (Linnaeus, 1758) > Cyrtacanthacris tatarica tatarica (Linnaeus, 1758), s/he would 1) be totally zapped and bewildered, 2) lose interest.

Of course, a side effect would be 3) being very impressed by the person who is giving that information…which may have actually been just gleaned off the Internet (as I did.) This whole thing of having ids in a long-dead language and translating that Latin (and Greek) in a suitably pseudo-friendly, condescending way to These Lesser Mortals is something I find many scientists (and pseudo scientists from WhatsApp University) guilty of.

And it’s true of every field of human endeavour. I appear much more knowledgeable if, instead of saying, “enjoy this rAgam”, I say, “listen to the prayOgams of Podalangapriya”; more learned-sounding if, instead of “enjoy the rocky landscape”, I say, “Look at the mixture of metaingenious rock and the patterns of the earlyite (not the laterite)”; instead of “Look at how beautiful that fish-shaped cloud is”, I say, “Columbusnimbu clouds take on so many interesting forms”..and so it goes. Not you, of course, and never me…but Those Others…!

Birding, now….

April 2, 2020

Gone are the days of birding travel.
The virus has made all my plans unravel.
From planning to see the Myzornis,
My birding world has shrunk to this:
How can I catch the Tailorbird,
Which whips in and out, and is only heard
Upon the terrace that I keep looking at? Why
Should these birds be so wary and shy?
Such a fleeting glimpse of the yellow White-eye…
What makes it so keen to zip and fly?
Why can’t it wait and pose for me
And let me take a photo…or three?
I have forgotten the forests, the deer and leopards
And even the various, colourful birds.
Mountain streams and riverside breeze,
Coastal stickiness and Himalayan freeze.
Life for me is the Barbet in the Bangalore sun.
Sighting a Koel is quite a lot of fun.
It’s the terrace that exerts a recurring pull,
For a sight of the Sunbird or the Bulbul.
Overhead, the v-shaped tails of the Black Kite.
The fluttering Pigeons, blue, grey and white.
I can’t even hear the Crows, of late,
Or see their throats of dull grey slate.
Birding is also memories: I go to my Flickr
And wish my broadband speed was quicker.
I visit, once again, birds all over the world:
Fieldfares, Bluebirds, Toucans, with their feathers unfurled.
I close my laptop and arise from my sofa,
And dream of the day when again I will go far
Looking for my beloved, favourite birds,
Which will then be real, not just photos and words!

grey-headed kingfisher

Grey-headed Kingfisher from Tanzania.

Two Dictators

April 2, 2020

Email to Nanna:

Here are K1 and K2, dictating to me what they want to say about your lemon cake. It has been mentioned at least fifty time in the past two days.

Message begins:

K2: Nana, I love your lemon cake. I want to visit you on Christmas and Easter because in those festivals, your lemon cake is the best (not festivals, times)

K1: Because we have never tasted it other than those times. Your lemon cake is better than potato (which I love very much)

K2: I also want to visit you early because otherwise I will miss Easter.

K1: Nana I love your lemon cake way more than any of the birthday cakes I’ve ever had…Kalyan keep quiet!….I am still dictating….Nanna, your lemon cake is one of my most favourite cakes baked by you.

K2: Nana, I also love your lemon cakes way more than even pizza. Kavya, keep quiet! Nana, your lemon cake is my favourite food.

K1: I think if you are in some kind of cooking competition you would definitely win first prize with your lemon cake….Deepamma, I can see that! Kalyan, please get your hand off my foot!…

K2: If you are in MasterChef Australia, a TV show, you would win with your awesome lemon cake. That is the same thing Kavya said, but with some edits. If I am wrong, please email me.

K1: Anyway, once you do, I’d love to see your first place trophy. I don’t know why we are writing you email about your lemon cake, it’s absolutely weird, when we are in the middle of making brownies and she (Deepamma) called us over here. But I bet the brownies will never be nearly as good as your lemon cake….no, I don’t want to say bye yet!….fine, fine…

K2: Anyway, that was Kavya. But why did she have to add the part that said, it is weird we are emailing you? I don’t know. But if I ever get to eat any food I like, I would pick your lemon cake.

K2 pushes off to the kitchen. K1 : OK, fine, bye.

There are now two dictators in my life!

Love from K1, K2, and Deepa.

In the morning on the first of April

April 1, 2020

Me: Your parents cleared out your Lego pieces yesterday.
K2: WHAT! Rushes off to check.
Me: April Fool!
K2: Ha, ha, ha. But actually….you shouldn’t joke about my Lego. It gave me palpitations.

K1: OW! I stepped on a piece of glass! *limps to the sofa*
Me: Oh, let me have a look.
K1: April Fool!

More about K2

March 26, 2020

Father: If I give you $5, how many quarters will you give me?
K2: Don’t ask me such hard questions.
Me: Let’s take it step by step. If I give you one dollar, how many quarters will I get from you?
K2: Zero. Thank you for the dollar. I am not going to give you any quarters back!

I broke into O+ laughter…

March 25, 2020

K2: My blood group is O+.
Me: That means it’s Hopeless (O+).
K2: (angrily) DON’T MAKE FUN OF MY BLOOD GROUP!