Today (2nd June) I functioned on two levels..on one, being myself, being with everyone, laughing and joking…on another…..hell. 37 years. Starting with good ones….obviously, getting worse all the time. Died on January 24th, 2013.
What a failure I am. Apparently, I should not think this…but I do. I know that grief heals in time…but not yet, not yet. I cannot forgive myself. It’s much easier to forgive others, than to forgive oneself.
Took me the whole day to decide to post this. My heart is still on fire.