I’d posted in Facebook: “There are times…when I wonder whether people do like me..or are just too polite to tell me otherwise!”
To this, one response, from Sharbari Lahiri in Canada, was:”Are you wondering that about your fb friends or life in general?”
So I must make the distinction between friends and “friends”. Friends are those whom I know WELL (I may not yet have met them face-to-face, but they are good friends…when I finally met Carolyn,with whom I’d been friend on LJ for 4 years, it was no different from “e-knowing” her, and we spent so many days together in perfect amity!
“Friends” are those whom I have liked some facet of, or those who have liked some facet of me; we have not yet met, face-to-face, or if we’ve met, the chemistry has not gelled; we don’t mind the occasional meeting, but it’s unlikely to go beyond this.
But there is a third category…when friends become “friends”…I further responded to Sharbari: ” “I was thinking of life in general…when feelings of liking wane, as interests diverge…I feel the gap and wonder if the other person feels it too…”
It’s sometimes difficult, especially if meetings are perforce not regular, to know if friends are turning into “friends”…and one does not like to ask, in case they are still friends and are hurt by the query…
I am a person who values friendships highly, and do not consider any friendship worth giving up. Most of the friendships that have cooled in my life are due the cooling on the other side.
Just a few random thoughts, that’s all! I love my friends, and they are the greatest treasure of my life, and the source of a lot of my energy.
Tags: feelings, friendship, meeting
Deponti to the world 
December 15, 2012 at 3:45 pm |
I love this question of the morning! Very intriguing to stop and think about the distinction you have made between internet friends and those whom you have met before in person. I have realized that you must think like an architect when you build friendships.
Start off with a solid foundation of first impressions and good vibes. Then, begin to build the interior structure with walls. These walls will be later used for capturing a museum of framed memories and experiences. When the friendship becomes stronger, build another floor. Finally, establish the roof of trust. When you complete all that, bring in the furniture and start the interior design.
You must remember – the house can deteriorate. Maintain a healthy home, and then expand with other houses. You will eventually have a networking neighborhood of amazing people. If you are unsure about maintaining your “friendly neighborhood,” communicate. Communication is significantly important for the growth and development of your social life. Thanks for the share!
December 16, 2012 at 12:13 am |
Interesting, to think of friendship as an architectural project š