Archive for January, 2009

Neologisms

January 31, 2009

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

The winners are:
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n .) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by Proctologists
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.) , an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

The Washington Post’s Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,
subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year’s winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright idea s from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spra y-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease.
9. Karmageddon (n): It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth
explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
10 Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito thatgets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast
out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you’re eating.

And the pick of the literature:

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who’s both stupid and an asshole

Ooh..these sad people…

January 31, 2009

At Davos, they have set a “simulated war zone”, and in the Economic Times of today, there’s a picture of Sir Richard Branson in a “simulated refugee camp” that’s also been set up…oh my, our plutocrats can now have a “simulated” experience of how it is to be in the middle of tearing shells and lose everything you have, without actually coming into contact with the reality…

Excuse me while I am sick.

It …or she…happens…

January 31, 2009

A girlfriend is the nice, reliable, comfort-giving young woman that happens to a young man while he is eagerly awaiting a Hot Chick.

( A Hot Chick is this totally sexy female, who, the young man fondly imagines, is going to look at him, particularly, in a crowd of handsome and rich hulks!).

And what, meanwhile, if you are not Born to Lead, but only Bord?

At least if you had an “e” in the word, you could shrug your shoulders and say you were Bored to Lead.

And if you’re not careful,you will buy a Fony Walkman:

I do love going around with my MLC!

A childhood habit…

January 29, 2009

I cannot eat a “jimjam” biscuit (you know, the ones which have jam peeping out of a hole in the biscuit) without nibbling all around it, and coming to the jam right at the end, and…yummmm….

And I have to check myself from opening the orange and bourbon cream biscuits and scraping off the butter cream and eating it alone…

When a neighbour complained about her children doing this, I looked, I think, very guilty, and scuttled off without supporting her.

Anyone else wants to share such shameful (or shameless) secrets?

Been tooooo lazy to upload pictures to Photobucket…must do my Hampi post soon…

Sleep and Sheep

January 29, 2009

Got this from the blog of Pratima Jayaram :

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sleep/sheep/

Loved tranquillizing the sheep, but I can’t get past “bobbing bobcat”! 🙂

Spring…

January 28, 2009

Suddenly, the temperature in Bangalore has shot up after a few days of brrrr-ing…and at Valley School, the signs of Spring have appeared…

In the Western hemisphere, Spring may be a time of release from the clutches of the cold, but here, it’s a time when the hot season begins to take hold; especially in Bangalore, where summer arrives earlier than the rest of the country, rather fiercely by mid-February (it also ends with the monsoon, much earlier than the rest of the country!)….but at this time, the mornings are still pleasant.

Several trees are flowering, and the sunbirds take advantage of that…

New life is …springing forth, and it’s a great time to be outdoors!

Now you know why I enjoy my birding trips even if I don’t sight a single bird….

Graphic facilitation

January 27, 2009

Got this from a post by shortindiangirl…..

http://www.loosetooth.com/Viscom/gf/graphic_facilitation_business_cards.htm

just wanted to document that for myself, but thought others would like to see it, too…

By the way… six tenets that I,too, firmly believe in…

http://www.loosetooth.com/Viscom/gf/6tenets.htm

Chitra Santhe (Art Fair) at Chitra Kala Parishath, 250109

January 27, 2009

http://bangalore.citizenmatters.in/blogs/show_entry/766

Here are some Nature paintings by Ms. Kalavathi of Mysore whose nephew said the paintings were not for sale, but were just being shown:

It was a very enjoyable afternoon….

What’s “Cool”…..

January 27, 2009

This post from sriniram made me wonder….

How many unnecessary purchases are made in the name of “cool”? Surely a lot of branding works on precisely this premise…and all those tele-shopping channels survive on our desires, not our needs…I remember Wodehouse mentioning a “Mouso-Penso” , which was a combination mousetrap-cum-pencil sharpener (Can some Wodehouse fan tell me which story it appeared in? Some Mulliner story, I think.)

We accumulate more and more possessions which rapidly turn into junk…

And on the subject of razors, Gillette has this superfantastic triple-blade razor for some three hundred odd (very odd) rupees…I have been buying something else at Rs.10 each at my kirana store, and that’s just as good….

I cannot believe that expensive always means better…in my experience, it’s actually just the reverse…the cheaper version, without the baggage of “image” and “cool” and “branding” and “marketing”, does the job better. My 7-rupee thimble coffee at Park View is much better than the tepid Rs.30 cappuncino in some Barista or Cafe Coffee Day etc…

Why?

January 26, 2009

Why is it that those whom you love
Are the ones that can hurt you the most?
Because they know the chinks in your armour, below and above….
And where the darts will hit home.
You listen to the words with a face devoid of expression
Because you cannot show the world how it hurts.
To others, the words are quite ordinary
But in you, the words hurt. And hurt. And hurt.
The wounds ooze, not blood, but tears;
Tears that well up in your heart, not in your eyes.
You may smile and smile and smile at the world, and bleed tears inside.
Tiny little stabs can hurt more, then,
Than the pieces of a heart breaking apart.
It happens too often, too often…
Being together should be a joy, not a source of pain.
One should want to meet again.
Often, one’s sorrow wears
The mask of a smile;
And one hopes one is wise…
That things will be better in a while.